At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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