She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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