So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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