Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
