i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
