Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
