piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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