I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
