Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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