I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
