Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
