Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
