it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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