dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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