Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i think i scared a bird with my dick
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
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