You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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