the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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