we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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