this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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