Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
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