I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
