i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dick very happy bro
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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