Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
