we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
