Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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