i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I think i got beer on your cat.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize