my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
