everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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