This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
