didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
