Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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