in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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