After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
