update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
