Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
