you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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