youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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