you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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