I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
