Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
