we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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