when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
