Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
