it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
