That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
