Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm at about main and main street
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Randomize