I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
