Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
