My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
