I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Holy sore nipples Batman
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
