if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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