So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
