he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
