I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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