Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
