So drunk, too bad you don't want this
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
