is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
