Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
