there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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