I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
