I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
