The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
