i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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