Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize