VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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